


back then was when we touched the starlight

by hearth_goddess



Category: Starlight Express - Phillips/Stilgoe/Webber
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Greaseball is an Ass but he recognizes it and apologizes, M/M, basically if gb rusty dinah and pearl were childhood bffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearth_goddess/pseuds/hearth_goddess
Summary: Rusty and Greaseball were once friends, but Greaseball decided to go off in search of bigger and better things. After the Race, Rusty finds Greaseball, alone and injured, and makes the decision to help him, bringing back old hurt, and the possibilities of healing. The Starlight Express works in mysterious ways
Relationships: Pearl/Dinah (Starlight Express), Rusty/Greaseball (Starlight Express)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	back then was when we touched the starlight

**Author's Note:**

> this is absolutely and completely @fandom-trash-goblin-rp on tumblr's fault for introducing me to the wonderful world oof Rusty/Greaseball
> 
> so have some soft boys, with a little bit of angst thrown in!

_I guess I'm not too good at keeping love alive for long  
I think I've found the answers but the answer's always wrong  
My first love was my true love and it should have been my last  
The only time I'm happy when I'm dreaming in the past_

When Rusty was a young little train, his favorite memories were of playing hide and seek with Greaseball and Dinah. He wasn’t as fast as the diesel or the dining car, but he was smaller, so he could climb up the scaffolding and storage bins while they were counting. It was always funny watching Greaseball skate around in a panic when the time was up, looking for the steam engine while Dinah laughed, and Rusty snickered quietly from his perch. 

Eventually, he would take pity on him, and he would let out a quiet whistle for only Greaseball to hear, and his shiny friend would turn around with an unamused look on his face, but fondness in his eyes, and he would skate over to catch Rusty as he jumped down from wherever he had climbed up. 

“How do you manage to get yourself up there?” Greaseball would ask as Rusty would shift to couple up with him, Dinah grabbing onto the steamer’s couplers so they could go to Poppa’s for dinner. 

As Greaseball would begin to pull them off, Rusty would prop his chin on his friend’s shoulder with a grin. “I have to keep you on your stops somehow.” 

When Pearl arrived in the yard, Rusty immediately befriended the observation carriage with a warm smile and open arms. She was welcomed into the small group almost instantly, with Dinah introducing Pearl around, and Greaseball keeping a close eye on her. The group became completely inseparable, and it wasn’t uncommon at all to see the four coupled together and skating throughout the train yard. 

Their connection was so strong and fond that it came as a surprise to every older train when Greaseball suddenly left his companions, and joined up with the newer, shinier diesels that would pass through Control’s train yard. 

It started out simple enough, with the engines waving to Greaseball as they passed through, and Greaseball excitedly waving back before returning to whatever activity he and his friends were doing in that moment. 

But then he began to abandon his friends to join up with the other diesels, laughing as he jumped onto the tracks to go off with them, ignoring Dinah, Pearl, and Rusty’s cries as they were left behind. He began to ignore Dinah’s questioning glances when he returned to the train yard late at night, began to Pearl’s sad eyes when he would skate past the trio without a second thought, and he ignored Rusty’s outstretched hands reaching towards his couplers. 

The first time Greaseball had shaken Rusty off his couplers had left the steamer absolutely crushed, and he had frozen in the middle of the tracks, watching as Greaseball abandoned him to go rush off with his shiny new friends. 

“Oh, Rusty!” Dinah cried, rushing towards him. “Sweetie, are you okay?” 

Pearl grabbed onto his arm, hugging his side tightly, and he leaned against her, trying to ignore the sharp burning sensation in his eyes. 

“He’s gone.” He found himself whispering, unable to keep his eyes off of Greaseball, hating how his heart shattered in his chest. 

* * *

_Sometimes you turn away from what your heart tells you is right  
And so you settle for whatever gets you through the night  
The flame you thought was dead may suddenly begin to burn  
And broken hearts can be repaired, that's something that you learn_

* * *

When the Race had been over and done with, Rusty felt on top of the world. Sure, maybe he hadn’t gotten the girl, but he was absolutely and completely fine with that. Both he and Pearl had come to the agreement that, while maybe they had once been sweethearts, those feelings had long since faded into fond, platonic feelings that were more suited towards close friendship. Rusty still furiously looked Pearl over for any injuries, obviously, cursing Greaseball in the back of his mind as Pearl laughed softly under her breath. 

“I’m okay, Rusty.” She said gently. 

The steamer scoffed as he ignored her completely, turning her around to make sure for himself. “I don’t know what he was thinking. You could have been killed!” 

Pearl touched Rusty’s shoulder softly. “Maybe talk to him about that. It seems like the perfect time now.” She gave him a look with her gentle pink eyes that always seemed to know exactly what Rusty was thinking, and he sighed, nodding. 

“Fine. But only if you go talk to Dinah.” He shot back, and a grin spread over his face as Pearl’s cheeks flushed a pink that went perfectly with her hair. 

_Rusty wasn’t a stupid train. He had heard about Greaseball uncoupling with Dinah, and had immediately gone to check up on the dining car. He had hugged her tightly, and had comforted her as best he could, and she had asked him if he had felt the same way she had all those years before, when Greaseball had shaken him off._

_“What do you mean?” Rusty asked, pulling back and looking at Dinah’s blue eyes, which were tinged with red._

_Dinah smiled slightly. “Rusty, sweetie, Pearl and I aren’t dumb. We know you and GB better than anybody. You were broken-hearted that day.”_

_“I…” Rusty trailed off for a moment, but then he nodded. “I guess so. I hadn’t hurt that bad in forever.”_

_“I thought so.” Dinah said, wiping her eyes. “How’d you get over it?”_

_A small smile spread across Rusty’s face. “I had you and Pearl. And Poppa, of course, but mainly you girls. You were the only two who felt the same way I did.” A soft blush appeared on Dinah’s cheeks, and Rusty’s smile began to widen. “Though… from what I’m thinking… you might be needing Pearl more than you might be needing me.” ,p > Dinah gasped and shoved the steamer. “Rusty!” _

_“Am I wrong?” he asked with a laugh, which in turn made Dinah giggle, making Rusty grin in triumph._

Rusty nudged Pearl with his elbow. “Go on. I think she should be back by the main track with everyone else. They were heading over to Poppa’s to celebrate, no matter what Control tries to say.” 

Pearl smiled shyly, kissing Rusty’s cheek and hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Rusty.” “Of course, Pearl.” He replied, hugging her back, just as tightly. “Give my love to Dinah, and tell her… tell her we’re okay.” 

“I will.” The carriage said softly, nodding before she skated away towards the track, following the sound of cheers and loud chatter, while Rusty turned and skated towards the sound of grating metal and cursing. 

Electra was already gone by the time Rusty arrived at the sight of the crash, his components having obviously arrived to help the engine, and in the distance, Rusty spotted C.B.’s telltale red paint standing out against Dustin’s larger frame as the two skated back towards the freight yard. 

Taking a deep breath, Rusty approached sound of struggling. “Greaseball?” 

There was a quiet groan, one that made Rusty smile just a tiny bit. “Oh no. Not you.” 

“Yeah, me.” The steamer said, skating towards the pile of yellow and black metal that was his former diesel friend. “Come on, I’m helping you home.” 

“Why?” Greaseball asked, sitting up with a wince. Rusty let out a sympathetic hiss, seeing the twisted bits of metal, and made a mental note to visit Poppa to get the necessary tools to help fix up Greaseball. 

Rusty knelt down, extending a hand towards the larger engine. “Because you need help, captain.” The childhood nickname escaped from Rusty before he could stop it, and both he and Greaseball froze, staring at each other with wide eyes, neither engine sure what to do. 

After a quiet, though not entirely uncomfortable, moment, Greaseball let out a heavy sigh, and took Rusty’s hand. “Fine.” 

Rusty smiled slightly, and pulled Greaseball up, pulling the diesel’s arm over his shoulders so that he was leaning onto him. Sure, Greaseball may have been larger than him, but years of pulling around the other freights and heavy cargo had given Rusty his own strength. 

_(Greaseball was most definitely **not** silently freaking out about this fact, thank you very much)_

__“I’ll take the long way back to your place.” Rusty said as they began to go down the tracks. “Everyone should be over at Poppa’s, anyway.”_ _

__“Thanks.” Greaseball said, his voice quiet, his hand gripping Rusty’s tightly, and making the steam engine’s smile grow._ _

__

* * *

_I've re-lived every moment that i ever shared with you  
What fools we were to end a dream that looked like coming true_

* * *

Everyone noticed that Rusty was visiting Greaseball almost daily. 

Poppa had given Rusty the tools he needed to help with Greaseball’s recovery, and both Dinah and Pearl had not-so-secretly sent Rusty with treats and meals for Greaseball whenever he passed by Dinah’s restaurant. 

Rusty, while still conflicted, was surprisingly enjoying his time with Greaseball, almost feeling as if things were returning back to normal with his friend. While things were still tense between them, and there were still things they needed to address, it was nice being able to sit with the diesel again and talk to him. 

However, as Greaseball’s recovery began to finish, and the events of the Race had been finished, and everyone was settled back into their own routines, Greaseball noticed that Rusty continued to visit him, just to sit and talk to him. And that made him unbearably curious. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” he found himself asking one afternoon as Rusty entered his home. 

The steam engine looked at him with confusion in his eyes. “What do you mean?” 

Greaseball sighed, feeling quite out of his element. “You’re being so nice to me. I don’t get it.” 

“GB, you’re my friend, you know that.” Rusty replied, his voice gentle, but his eyes did not meet Greaseball’s. They were looking around the room, glancing over the small objects scattered about, his gaze falling onto a small, folded up checkered cloth framed in the corner. It was slightly dusty, but the way it was folded and displayed showed how cherished it was, and a small smile spread over Rusty’s face. 

_“I won!” Greaseball cried, nearly bursting with pride as he raced towards Rusty, Pearl, and Dinah, tackling his three friends to the ground in his excitement._

_“We knew you would!” Pearl replied happily._

_Rusty beamed, looking at the checkered flag. “You got to keep it?”_

_Greaseball nodded. “They said that since it was my first real race, and since I was so fast, they’d give it to me!”_

_As they all stood, Rusty took the flag from Greaseball and carefully folded it up, smoothing out any creases, and tucking the corners in._

_“There!” he said, handing it back to Greaseball with a smile. “Now it won’t get all faded, and you can keep it safe!”_

_Dinah grabbed onto Rusty’s couplers as Pearl grabbed onto hers. “Maybe we can see if Poppa has any frames we can put it into for you, GB!”_

_“Thanks, Rust.” Greaseball said softly, giving Rusty a bright grin. “And great idea, Dinah! Everybody hold on” Rusty laughed as Greaseball took off down the track, pulling him and his friends, all four laughing like fools._

Greaseball was momentarily struck silent at the smile on Rusty’s face, but he shook himself, crossing his arms as he tried to ignore his feelings. 

“Don’t bullshit me, Rusty. We haven’t been close in years.” he said, trying to keep his voice level, but hating how harsh he sounded. Rusty flinched slightly. “That came out wrong, but you know what I mean. After everything that happened, you know we grew apart. I said things that broke our group up. So why are you being so nice to me?” 

“Watching you go off that day, with Pearl and Dinah standing with me, that was probably the worst day of my life.” Rusty said, wrapping his arms around his torso. “You were my best friend, Greaseball. I didn’t know why you left, and neither did the girls. We just had to keep going like nothing had happened, and then you came back years later like you didn’t even know me, and it hurt so badly. I was so happy for the girls, because Dinah and Pearl had you back, but… I was so confused.” 

Greaseball looked down, guilt in his eyes. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. We were so young, and I didn’t know what to do. You were always so kind to everyone, and I knew that the new engines like me would be mean to you for not being as fast or as strong. I knew that if I went with them, I could make sure that you wouldn’t be hurt or bullied by them. I wanted to protect you. Then I came back and… I was so far in that I didn’t know how to come back, and I thought you hated me.” Rusty watched Greaseball, and noticed him wringing his hands together, a nervous habit that he knew the diesel had always kept up with since they were young. It was endearing, seeing the mannerisms that Rusty remembered so fondly from his childhood. 

He slowly moved forward and sat down beside Greaseball. “B, if you know anything about me, you know I could never hate you. When we were racing, I knew that you were just trying to help me. Even if we haven’t talked in a while, we still know each other better than anyone.” He paused, shaking his head. “But also… I’m hurt, Greaseball. You hurt me, and you hurt the girls. Dinah was heartbroken when you uncoupled with her. You did it without a second thought for her own feelings, and you did it in front of everyone, humiliating her. And then you uncoupled with Pearl in the middle of the race! If I hadn’t grabbed her, she could have died, Greaseball!” 

“I know, Rusty. I don’t know what I was thinking. C.B. slowed you down in that first race, and Dinah called it out, and I was terrified that Electra, or one of the other engines would do something to her, so I uncoupled with her. I never meant to hurt her. I guess I just… wasn’t thinking, as usual.” Greaseball explained, and he let out a small, self-deprecating laugh. “And Pearl… Starlight, I don’t even know what I was doing. I was slowing down, I saw Electra right behind me with his shocks pointing towards me, and I saw Pearl, and I knew that there was no way Electra could shock me without hitting Pearl, and I panicked. I didn’t want her to get shocked, so I did the only thing I think of in that moment.” 

Greaseball stared down at his hands, and Rusty just watched him as he talked, not wanting to interrupt him. “As soon as I uncoupled her, though, I realized how stupid I was, and I immediately wanted to turn around to go back for her. But Electra was right on top of me, and I couldn’t do anything. Then I heard Control say that you had caught Pearl, and I was just a little bit relieved. But I know that what I did was stupid.” 

“Yeah, you were an idiot.” Rusty said, making Greaseball flinch. “I know that you thought you were trying to protect the girls, and maybe you were trying to protect me, but all you did was hurt us.” 

Greaseball stiffened. “Then if I hurt you, why are you here?” 

Rusty didn’t back down, remaining completely relaxed as he looked at the other engine. “Because you’re recognizing that you hurt us. You’re recognizing your mistakes. Yeah, it’ll take a while for me and the girls to completely feel okay, and to forgive you, but you’ve admitted that what you’ve done is wrong.” 

“Is that why you’re helping me?” Greaseball asked quietly. “Because you want me you apologize?” 

“Partly, yes. An apology would be quite nice after everything would happen, especially to the girls, because I know they’d appreciate it.” Rusty replied with a slight shrug. “But also because it’d be nice to have my best friend back. I’ve missed him quite a lot.” Greaseball smirked slightly, glancing over at the checkered flag sitting on the table in the corner. “I’ve missed mine too.” 

* * *

“I’m sorry.” Greaseball blurted out the moment he and Rusty stepped into Dinah’s restaurant. 

Pearl and Dinah looked at one another with wide eyes. When Rusty had approached them with a small smile, asking if he and Greaseball could join them for dinner that evening, they had agreed but they hadn’t been able to figure out what exactly would happen. 

“What?” Dinah asked after a moment. 

Greaseball took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. For uncoupling with you in front of everyone, Dinah, and for uncoupling with you in the middle of the race, Pearl.” He closed his eyes briefly before looking up at them both, and giving them a small, sad smile. It shocked both Dinah and Pearl to see tears in the diesel’s eyes. “And for losing our friendship for so long.” 

Dinah crossed her arms, leaning back against the counter and looking Greaseball over. “Rusty told us that you two talked. Something about you wanting to protect him?” Greaseball nodded. “Why didn’t you just tell him that? And why didn’t you just talk to us about that?” 

“Because I’ve got nothing but bolts for brains?” Greaseball replied with a small sigh, shrugging, and Pearl snorted quietly. 

“That’s for sure.” She said, and Rusty sent her a small grin. 

Dinah had her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. “Greaseball, how do we know this isn’t a trick? That next week, or in a few weeks, you’ll just go back to pretending like Rusty doesn’t exist, or like Pearl and I don’t exist?” 

Greaseball looked at Rusty. “I want to try, Dinah. I know it’s been a while, and I know I made some pretty big and pretty bad mistakes. But those engines I left you guys for… they weren’t my friends. You three are the only ones who have ever known what I’m really like, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to have another chance at this.” Pearl reached out, taking one of Dinah’s hands in her own and holding it tightly, giving the dining coach a comforting smile. “I know I don’t deserve to ask for any kind of kindness, but…” 

“You hurt us all, Greaseball.” Pearl said quietly. “You need to show us you can change. As soon as you start showing us that you’re changing, that’s when Dinah and I will forgive you.” 

“I will give you one chance, Greaseball.” Dinah said, her voice firm. She pushed off the counter and grabbed Greaseball by the collar, yanking him down to her level and stared at him, lowering her voice to a whisper so that only he heard her. “If you mess up again, if you hurt me, if you hurt Pearl, and if Starlight forbid you hurt Rusty again, not even Control will be able to help you.” 

Greaseball nodded, seeing nothing but intense protectiveness in her blue eyes. “I swear, I’ll do everything I can to make up for what I did to you three.” 

Dinah released his collar, and dusted her hands off, a bright smile replacing the fierceness in her eyes. “Good. Now, let’s have lunch. We haven’t had lunch together in quite a while, and I know everyone’s favorites.” 

The rest of the afternoon was spent with the four sitting together in the diner, finally catching up together, laughing. 

They weren’t completely okay, but it was a start. 

* * *

_Next time you fall in love  
It better be with me  
The way it used to be  
Back then was when  
We touched the starlight_

* * *

When Greaseball was completely healed up, even after the talks with Dinah and Pearl, Rusty was still the tiniest bit frightened that the diesel would go back to the other modern engines he had once been friends with. 

However, all his fears were put to rest the afternoon that Greaseball decided to return to the tracks officially. 

Greaseball glanced over towards Rusty, his eyes turning shy in a way that only Dinah, Pearl, and Rusty had ever seen them turn before. “Hey… Rust?” 

“Yeah, B?” the steamer asked with a smile, looking over at him, and the diesel was momentarily struck dumb by the way the morning light was making Rusty’s curly hair shine almost gold. Not for the first time, Greaseball realized how utterly stunning his best friend was. 

“Will you… do you want to couple with me?” he found himself asked in a rush, stumbling over his words, instead of asking the question smoothly, like he had been rehearsing to himself (and Pearl and Dinah) for the past week. 

Rusty froze, and for a brief, terrible moment, Greaseball thought that he ruined absolutely everything that they had built, misreading every single smile and brushing of hands, every glance and laugh. 

But then, as the shorter engine reached out to take the taller one’s hand, Rusty’s wonderful smile returned, and he nodded, his expression just as shy, and Greaseball grinned, happy and broad, and he tugged Rusty into a tight hug. 

Laughing slightly, Rusty shifted around Greaseball and wrapped his hands tightly around the diesel’s couplers for the first time in quite a while, and both couldn’t help but give the other a fond, happy smile at the feeling. 

“You got me?” Rusty asked softly. 

Greaseball gave him a wink. “Always. Hold on, pretty boy.” 

Rusty’s cheeks flushed as Greaseball took off down the tracks, snickering to himself, though the steamer’s blush didn’t stop him from smacking the other engine’s shoulder. As they approached the main tracks, the other trains heard the laughter and skates, and their eyes widened with surprise when they saw the two engines. While there had been whispers and rumors of the connection building between Rusty and Greaseball, no one truly knew, or remembered, the relationship that the two had, so seeing them coupled together was truly a surprise. 

From that day on, however, as it had been years before, it was more uncommon to see Rusty and Greaseball apart than it was to see them together. Whenever they were working separate shifts that tended to send them on overnight trips at the same time, Control was kind enough to schedule them to end up at the same station at least once on their routes, which would always be amusing to the other coaches and carriages they would be pulling, to see the two engines excitedly greeting each other, Greaseball lifting Rusty into the air and spinning him around, both laughing and beaming as bright as the Starlight Express itself. 

When they would return to the yard, it was always a habit for Greaseball and Rusty to go on a double date with Dinah and Pearl. The four would pack up a picnic basket, full of treats and drinks, and they would skate off to their favorite spot in the yard, a few yards behind Poppa’s house, and with a perfect view of the stars and the moon. 

Rusty would spread the blanket out as Dinah pulled out all the food, while Greaseball prepared a small fire to keep them warm, and Pearl set up a telescope for stargazing (a pastime they carried over from their childhood), and that was how they spent their evenings. Greaseball and Rusty would share stories of their recent travels, while Dinah and Pearl would tell them any missed stories from the yard. 

More often than not, the conversation turned to stories from their childhood, and Dinah would bring up, to both Rusty and Pearl’s unending amusement, Greaseball’s completely obvious crush on Rusty. Greaseball would blush and snap at Dinah to shut up, and the dining coach simply would cackle and snuggle up with Pearl, innocently asking her girlfriend to point out whichever constellation stole her interest in that specific moment. 

The Starlight Express worked in mysterious ways, and no train could completely agree on what the Starlight Express truly was. 

All they knew was that it was something greater than all trains. 

All Greaseball and Rusty knew that it was something that brought them back together, and if that was all they ever knew it was, then that was all they would ever be grateful for.

**Author's Note:**

> both my cats blog (@uppastthejelliclemoon) and my main blog (@hearth-goddess-99) have StEx content on them, so if you'd like more StEx content there, check them out.  
> If you want more Cats content, check out my Cats blog!  
> If you want updates on my Human AU, of any of my other Cats-Centric stories, those updates are on my Cats blog as well!


End file.
